Band
Jimbo – From the volcanic depths of Mt. Oriental, deep in the jungles of the Philippines, a mystiso child was sprayed into existence. The villagers fled the surrounding area due to the ear piercing “death rice scream” and face melting guitar licks emanating from the mountain top. The Filipino word ‘Jimbo’ meaning ‘The loud one’ was given to him at an early age by the village elders. At the tender age of 2, the village Oracle foresaw a great musical talent buried within the child so he was placed in a bamboo canoe and set adrift toward America. There are many tales from the early 80’s of shredding guitar solos during violent storms that would lead ships away from rocks and whirlpools. There is also a legend, sailors say, that if you turned you radio to channel 6 you could hear faint sax solos that faded out just before completion. Finally making landfall in Brunswick, Maine at the age of 24 he took up with a local band known as Gruvenwood.
ANDO – After the devastating Bowdoin earthquake of 1910, a small bearded child was found crawling from the crack left in the earth. Raising him as their own, a local family named him after their favorite Civil War hero, General Benedict Harold Andosvnoski Sr. At the age of seven, ANDO ventured away from home, carving his first bass out of a one thousand year old oak tree by hand. He called her Sweet Tea. The duo, rumor has, it is responsible for the deaths of many mythological creatures and supervillians throughout time and space. When Gruvenwood was trapped in a coal mine in West Virginia, only ANDO’s bass lines could break through the cave-in and lead them to safety – since that day, he has battled along side the band.
Courtney – Born the illegitimate love child of Zeus and Jesus Christ, Courtney was conceived when Zeus tried to kill Jesus with a bolt of lightning and ended up impregnating him instead. On the day Courtney was born, thunder was heard around the world and the rains flooded the planet. Scared to face his father ,Jesus gave the young child to a poor blind black Jewish piano player on Earth. While the pianist was the most amazing musician on the small planet, Courtney quickly surpassed his mentor, touring the world turning water to Twisted Tea and curing polio with just his music. He joined Gruvenwood after meeting them on a spaceship to the moon in 2165.
Nick – The year was 1666 in the middle of The Great Fire of London – a small hairless child was seen, according to many eyewitness accounts, riding a full grown horse through the burning building howling what 3 centuries later would be called Rock N Roll. A mob quickly formed calling what they thought to be a demon, ‘Nick’ the Pikey word for “Burn One”. As the mob approached, determined to rid the city of the demon, they found the sound of his voice extinguished the fires and the young child was trying to save the city. In most textbooks Nick is referred to as the true hero fire, on record saving 136,964 people from the flames. The year was 2010 when Gruvenwood first crossed paths with Nick. Upon hearing the first notes from his lips, they quickly signed him to a one billion dollar contract – Nick refused, insisting he only worked for whiskey, weed and women.
Justin – Washed ashore after a category 7 hurricane that destroyed the entire island of Sicily, Justin single handedly repopulated the island by the age of 6. All neighboring tribes and empires came bearing gifts of Budweiser’s and Nerf footballs, none of which amused the small child. However, from the depths of Africa, a drum was brought carved from the skull of a Wooly Mammoth and it’s head wrapped with mermaid hide, which immediately drew the boy’s attention. With no prior experience playing, he immediately began to pound the drum causing the entire island to shake until, again, the island was destroyed. Great tsunamis crashed into all seven continents, and the young child set out to repopulate the world again. Untouched by the tsunamis in their underground bunker, Gruvenwood embarked on a tour, in need of a drummer due to their previous drummer imploding under the weight of their sound. They put their ears to the ground and followed the shaking earth till they found him.
Jamie – In the summer of 1954 a meteor crashed to earth in rural Kansas; from the crater, a small mammal covered in fur emerged. The locals thought he was an alien, but upon cutting the locks of hair found him to be a small human child. The boy quickly demonstrated multiple talents, such as basket weaving, flight and the ability to talk to small mammals and birds. During the great fire-tornado of 2000 that burned the entire state of Texas, only Jamie was able to fly up, with help from his winged friends, and steer the winds off to the Gulf of Mexico. But Jamie knew something was missing. After an introduction at the White House to OJ Simpson, it became clear – he would play the guitar. As it turns out, the guitar came easy to him and he was quickly sought after by every single band in the entire world; knowing none of them would truly challenge, him he shredded alone on top of Mount Everest. When the Cyborg rebellion of 2245 melted the ice caps and his spot atop the mountain became a beach, a 400’ Yacht with the words HMS Gruvenwood on the stern pulled ashore, and a rag tag group of men climbed out and offered him a home. The rest, as they say, is history.

